Isn’t it funny, that one of the first words we learn is no. Yet when I say the word, it doesn’t seem to be understood, or maybe it isn’t heard?

Or maybe when i say no you think ‘if I keep trying I can convince her what she means is yes. I know she really means the opposite of what she says.’ 

Maybe I gave mixed signals and I should have been more clear, or you just thought that I was teasing, that my no was insincere. 

maybe I confused you because I couldn’t make up my mind or you saw my reluctance as a challenge, and my no was redefined. 

Maybe you were overtaken by desire and not fully thinking straight. You needed to get your needs met and you couldn’t possibly wait.

Perhaps you saw me as an object and you didn’t really care, that I clearly wasn’t enjoying myself and was just vacantly lying there. 

And maybe now I wonder why I struggle to say no, when more times than I can remember it’s been disregarded or overthrown. 

The word has lost its power, what’s the point in saying no, when my boundaries aren’t respected and even my body’s not my own.