When I had last talked to my Nana, she sounded fine and healthy, like nothing was wrong. Three days after Christmas, my mom and I received a very upsetting phone call from my Aunt. It was a phone call that would be life-changing for all of us. We listened to the news that was being said by my Aunt. She had told us that Nana had a stroke and died in her sleep. Hearing something like that I knew was going to change me forever. My mom was in bad shape and things felt different already, all after five minutes.

I changed a lot and am completely different now, in good and bad ways. I focus on school much more because she wanted me to succeed and go on to college. After hearing, those words my ability to write poetry ended up being really important to me. It has been three years since she passed and when I said things were going bad I was completely right. I went through so much that I became insecure, caring about people’s opinions. There was one particular night that changed me forever. It was New Years and my uncle had come down to visit. Since I was a baby, he had been my best friend. Always protecting me from my crazy father, shielding pain that was coming towards me. Only one year after losing my grandmother, I ended up being molested by him. I was so ready to run. That situation broke me and made me think. I am only good for one thing. Crazy right? To this day, it has become hard to trust guys. Two main people helped me get through it, my mom and my current boyfriend Reggie. They knew what happened and how I felt about it. They build me up. Also, books I read help me cope and give me ideas to write.

My poetry has a lot of feeling in it that people cannot see. But being in the process of writing my poetry book and starting a t-shirt business takes away the pain. It has been almost four years since she passed away. It has been almost three years since my molestation. I look at myself and see a girl who is not broken anymore. Maybe because of people. I think it is because of herself. I am happier now and think of my Nana every day, the good times and bad. Everything I do is for her so she can be proud of me.