In Need of Stability

Location

I start to write because there is something inside of me, 

I write to let my thoughts, my oh so complicated thoughts, out.

No one, but the paper, will feel all my tension.

The pressure I put on the paper.

All my frustration with daily struggle and confusion.

The struggle of watching the family struggle.

The confusion of a stupid boy that took control of me,

Took advantage of my innocence.

I write all the things that I cannot process all in my mind.

"Why is the world so cruel?" Is the question one day,

and the next day is another...

I write to try to define the undefinable.

I write to release the restrained.

I write to keep my thoughts steady.

On paper the words won’t change,

the words won’t transform to other words.

They are concrete;

unlike inside my mind.

On paper they might be found,

 to be understood by someone.

While it rots away if it stays in the mind.

The mind,

the origin of all the wondrous lyrics in this world.

My mind,

the core of this poem,

and all my problems and solutions, too.

Stability is a thing I'm in need of in this unsteady world,

with its confused and distressed people just trying to find it.

Writing is my stability.

I need stability.

I also need understanding,

At least the thought of the possibility of someone understanding me.

Many people survive on the idea of something.

When I write I can “become” understood,

I am not a random face in a crowd,

I am relatable,

I am not alone.

Writing gives this all to me,

That is why I write.

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