I find it funny that most people I've love so far in my life are narcissists who destroyed my self respect and the whole time I thought it was because they loved themselves too much. But, as I grew into myself and learned to not make myself small so others could feel bigger next to the inadequacies they made me think I had, I began to understand that narcissism has nothing to do with loving yourself more than others. But, that narcissists can't love themselves and they have it twisted in their heads that the only way they can love themselves is if everyone else does instead. And as someone who's tried so hard to make everyone around me happy I can say that it's impossible to do that. Well, it is, in a way. But, only if you're willing to destroy any shred of individuality and self respect you have to create a false front for the world. To become a sort of multi-faced impostor in place of yourself. Someone who changes who they are for every person they come in contact with. Changing everything they like and dislike so that they can fit the needs of that person they're talking to. But, the problem with that logic is that you're making people love you for the wrong reasons. They'll end up loving the characters you play and not who you really are. And after awhile you end up losing yourself in all these fake personalities all together. Learning to love yourself is a life long journey and if you take this approach in life then you're just setting yourself back farther and farther from that goal. Eventually you will slip up and the real you will show. All the people who loved you for who you truly were have all been pushed away by your dishonesty or at the very least if they've stayed that long then they can't trust a word you say anymore. And all you're left with are those individuals who never truly loved you. And even in the midst of those people you'll be alone and it's hard to feel loved in a situation like that. Narcissism is a crap ton more complex than that and rather than write another lengthy paragraph on it I'll leave this tangent at this. If you go with the approach of radical honesty in life you'll be rejected by others.... like A LOT. But, when you do find someone who truly and I mean truly loves you for the person you are. Flaws and all. I can assure you their love will be worth more to you then the love you've been receiving from all those you've been killing yourself for. And in the end we only really have to be loved and accepted by one person to be happy, right? The choice on who and how you go about that is up to you though. But, at this point if my life I have no time or love to waste on people who lack authenticity. I've tried to make so many people understand that I love them for them and not all that bullshit and they never get it in the end. And as much as I'd love to "save" them. Sometimes it isn't my job to and I have to learn to let go. That saying goodbye is hard, but being lied to over and over again by some one you love hurts a lot more. If they're reason enough for you to forgive them, but you were never enough for them to even want to change are you any better for your mental health than they are? I'm not a doctor or some wisdom ridden sage. And not to down play my growth as a person or the fact that maturity isn't necessarily something that "just comes with age" but I'm only 21 and I can see that much. I hope you can too?