To My Pet Peeves

 

By: Megan Horne

 

To the people who take up two parking spaces in the parking lot.

To the people who chew with their mouth open.

To the people who spoil the ending of a book or movie because they think it’s funny to watch you get mad.

I hate you.

The close talkers, knuckle crackers, and the pencil tappers.

Stop.

 

This is for my pet peeves.

The little things that make me go crazy.

 

To that one person that talks on the phone in a movie theater.

We can hear you!

Your whole conversation.

Yes, now the whole theater knows that Brad broke up with Jessica

But it’s okay because you’re her best friend and will always be there for her.  

 

To the double dippers.

Yeah, that’s right, I saw you.

Excuse me, but did you just double dip that chip?

You dipped the chip

You took a bite

And you dipped again.

That’s like putting your whole mouth in the dip!

 

Here’s the problem.

People get so offended when you tell them to stop.

This is because people would rather rant about it later

Than do everyone a favor

And tell them to stop.

 

Imagine a world where

Everyone opens their candy before the movie starts

People actually keep in touch after they sign it in your yearbook

And celebrities actually give their kids normal names.

 

I propose we stand up to

These annoying human beings.

Brush those eraser “crumbs” off the paper!

Don’t click that pen a million times in a row.

 

Stand up!

Together, we can change the world for the better

One parking space at a time.