My Paradox

Barren and desolate I’ll lay

Empty and so afraid

Shivering in the sun

Teeth gritting in the calm not before the storm

I’ll be here

Within my solitude

My bubble of independence unable to look out through the thick fog of my persistent self-destruction.

No purpose

No willing need to rise or fall

Merely to lay barren in this state of unrest

Trying to justify the context of this inner demon

Escaping in a scratching fit of emotional wreckage

It claws out of my chest

Pushing me back into my self made cage of ignorance

Another

Tucked in my head it lays comfortable

Resting on the introverted infrastructure it has created

It whispers in my ear

No!

Stop!

If they care, push them back before they hurt you!

It tells me to play it safe

To not get hurt by loving

Like a parasite it feeds

Draining away the one thing I crave

Like the water I drink

The food I eat

I crave that love like an addict aching to stick that needle in his bruised yellow infected arm

I need it!

Yet I push it away

Hiding behind this cloud of a lack of empathy

I am an oxymoron

Two contrasting elements unifying together in harmony

No harmony, only suffering

One voice

Two voice

They rant on dissipating my existence into a fight of passion

For passion

I need it

Yet, Barren and desolate I’ll lay

Empty and so afraid

Shivering in the sun

Teeth gritting in the calm not before the storm

I’ll be here

Within my solitude

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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