the only thing i can hear is my heart beating in my ears

and the water coming from the shower head 

shhhhhh

lub-dub

lub-dub

lub-dub

_______________

 

we wake up

well i do at least…

he lays there, warmly grasping my side

i try to move him

why did I think that would work?

three minutes late he’s grasping me again

my beautiful smiling little guy

perfect morning memories

 

HA, Perfect Morning Memories,

Perfect Memories Always.

eventually we get out of bed,

I make breakfast like always.

He runs back and forth

back and forth

back and forth

back and forth

SIT PLEASE, I scream at the top of my lungs

but what effect does it have, none at all

sometimes I feel like I can still hear

his little feet pitter patter

___________ 

my mind is still

i’ve never felt pain like this before

i shake; uncontrollable sobbing

i dry off and return to the world

The mask returns, and the pain dissipates.