A roller coaster taking a nose dive off a pier.
I've lost some,
Far and near.
Some close and dear.
But I persevere
I ask myself, why am I here?
Where do I stand?
Can I raise my hand?
Am I capable of making it to the new year?
I'm lost in my mind
Screaming at the hands of time
Screaming at these thoughts of mine
These thoughts have subsided
But I'm still not righted
I feel slighted
My education has taken my saving
My financial safety is waving
I thought I was saving you and I
But now I'm a strain and I don't know why
What did i do wrong?
How I failed to be strong
My throat choked and I broke
I thought I could cross that bridge
Run far from this, from what this is
But I can't
I can't understand the events that unfold
The stories left untold
I feel like I am not in control
Of my own narrative, like this one mold
Is all that I am allowed to hold
What if this doesn't fit me?
What if this story wasn't meant for me?
What if I'm not...
From my potential
From what I need to stand for
From what others raise their hands for
My hands are low
They do not show
They hold back
From their own attack
A self-loathing protest that I cannot profess
No one will know
No one will know
I don't share
Not because I do not care
But because I have seen that stare
Vacant and unaware
No one near has the answers here
To know how I'm feeling with each breath
Sinking lower with each step
Falling into the abyss of unfeeling depth
I stay alive
I feel and I heal and I reel with the possibilities of sharing
In a time when everyone is angry but no one is moving
Just losing their mind
Know this year
This year my hands will be kind
To myself and others
We will raise
And be grateful we still have time
Use these days
To be saved.