I thought everything had changed

Like the waves had finally subsided

Like there was peace

But it never leaves you, never stops following

It is always just around the corner ready to overtake you again

It watches you while you sleep, joins you in your dreams

Almost like a noose

It loosens but as soon as you try to pull away,

It pulls you into it's unforgiving grip again

It will befriend you, just to keep taking and taking, 

And slowly drain away everything you have to offer

It will never be enough, you will never be enough

It will haunt your memories, reminding you of everything it has done

It will try and beat down something that has already been deterred a long time ago

It will also be the good times that force you to learn

Those memories of what you no longer have

The perfectness of it all, not just a small fragment of the past, and what you are now

One day I may accept you my forever friend

No longer fight what I know to be true

Live with the pain, until I am freed, and my time is now done here

Until then life will continue on

More and more fragments filling my brain

Until I am ready to explode, and let go, and feel peace once again