I told myself I would forgive &
Take the weight of your world
Off my shoulders,
But the soft consonants of your name
Are too hard
For my lips to shape.
The sun rises and you still exist,
Simply to remind me of who I was &
Who I will never escape.
Though the time on our clocks has been brought forward
& pushed back
You are the same.
A literal embodiment of my sixth grade yearbook:
You once told me you were empty.
& I tried to fill you,
With old books & sweetly scented candles
Hand written letters paired with warm cocoa
I didn’t know
It wasn’t my actions that were filling you.
It was my soul.
The late night laughter hid your true spirit
With manipulation as your sidekick
You drained my reservoir.
So forgive me, if I shiver at the sight of you.