The Monsters of this World

 

 

There are three types of monsters in this world.

 

Monsters of flesh, body, and mind

 

This year, I have met many monsters

But one of each stand out above all others

 

The third monster I met…

She harmed me and fought

Always there, waiting for my weakness to show

 

She was very real, though simply of my body

I feared her and loved her beyond all.

 

Being there at every moment I might hungered

She prevent consumption of all but crumbs

Starving out my issues while spawning from the second.

 

Her name you may ask. Anorexia.

 

Fear of her is still with me, as is she

I push her away knowing she will stay.

 

My friends once again knew and saw all

Making me fight her

She has never been defeated

However she is not as powerful as she used to be

 

The second monster I met…

He did not terrify or scare

Simply existed, talked and thought.

 

Perhaps it would have been better, should he have been real

He was not though.

 

He lived to tear me down from my happiest times

To question my every decision

To feed my issues and become all consuming.

 

His name is depression.

 

I thought I had conquered him long ago

But I was sorely mistaken when he reappeared.

 

Slowly began my journey to vanquish my foe once more

Traveling in a pattern every day, never changing or straying

Waking up, taking classes, working hard, attempting sleep

All the while, at every moment, he stomped around my mind.

 

With the love of a friend or two

He has left once again

Though I know he will be back

I also know he was never a friend.

 

The first monster I met…

He was the opposite of terrifying

He was inviting and loveable.

 

When we first met we had a spark

Chemistry some would call it.

 

He was very real and there when I wanted him

Breathing life into me and kissing the memories away

All the while planning what he would do…

 

His name was Nathan.

 

He had the most inquisitive eyes, drawing me in

And the quirkiest smile to calm my thoughts.

 

Together we talked, sat, ate, did anything we wanted

He was new to me, having only ever been with one other

Kind, sweet, and funny my guard lowered

I went with him wherever he wished me to.

 

What he wished was much harsher than I had anticipated

I shall never forget that night, nor ever move past it

Trying to leave and being stopped from what my instinct instructed

He was to be my first possible love.

 

He became something much worse.

 

The fear of touch

The thought of unworthiness

The hatred of body and flesh.

 

Moving on and past, he will be forgotten

I will be strong and move along.

 

There are three types of monsters in this world.

 

Monsters of flesh, body, and mind

 

This year, I have met many monsters

But one of each stand out above all others.

 

Anorexia… Depression… and the worst of all, Nathan.