My body leaves large craters in the depths of my bed sheets
My blankets cradle me
They´d protect me like a fathers locked arms in a teary child's eyes
But what do we do when our fathers can't defend the monster that hide under our beds any longer
Maybe if I just gripped the comforter a bit more,
and turned my covers into a fort
or shut my eyes tighter
The monsters under the bed would leave me alone. They would just go.
But they never did, they just manifested with age.
They leeched around me,
draining me of my freedom to breathe,
cushioning me with empty hugs,
They make me medicate them with drugs, just so I wouldn't have to hear them scream
They leave me deserted until my bones are hollow and weak,
rusted, they wither
Hoping one day that I’ll break
The sweet chimes of a siren, my dreams sing
They ring endlessly.
They have now become a boutique of flowers that continues to decay
My dreams once nourished by parents and teachers who watered my fascination,
planting new seeds until the leaves were glimmering green,
and the roots were as strong as you could only believe
they began to cripple with age,
the petals now torn don´t reform
and the flowers only grew more thorns,
while trained gardeners bashed it for not making any money.
I wish it had been true, that dreams were able to be reached if you just believed
At least that's what the disney princesses kept telling me
but the monsters never lied
they would just recite things I didn't want to hear twice
they made sure to remind me every night until my dreams were broken
wishing to hide in the snug arms of a father that couldn't save me.
But still told me that when the lights turned on the monsters would all be gone
that that would be thee end
But I couldn't tell him that the monsters made me their new home.
They have already latched on, isolating itself inside my mind
When hitting 18 the doctors told me these monsters were anxiety
And I couldn´t run or
hide underneath my bed sheets
Because these monsters were already apart of me
And now It was time to be the adult that hugs children abouts what hides in the dark