The moment when you said "I'm so tired."

The moment when you repeated it again.

The moment when your hands looked so limp.

The moment of when your voice almost cracked.

The moment when I just wanted to hold you.

I got up and lifted you to your feet

You felt so weak then

All the screams of burdens ringing in your ear.

Like fallen armies of never seeing their families.

Like a man burning in a fire of his own guilt

Your eyes couldn't focus

Your soft eyes looked desperate.

I've only seen those desperate eyes when my body was laying in a hopsital bed

Walls lined with sterlization

The sounds of machines

and was bound to white sheets that missed your warmth

yet you held my hand 

and tears spilled over your cheeks 

feeling powerless

except those very eyes before me now

were not fearful of tomorrow

but next week

and the month after

and though there are days when I cannot get out of bed.

My figure so small and delicate compared to your strong arms that always held me at night

When I cannot eat

When I was wanting to disappear from pain and aches,

Those arms that craddled my broken body when I sobbed into your chest whimpering,

"I'm not strong enough."

"I'm trying so hard."

"I can't do this."

"I don't know what to do anymore."

"I'm so tired."

"I'm so tired."

Those very arms. 

Felt like glass.

Though you could stand on two feet if I moved you would collapse.

Then the tear.

The tear that fell onto my bare shoulder.

It stained my skin.

Not of sadness 

not of despair

but burdens

and I let you rest your head that was worn from the world

hearing you whisper all of your worries

and hearing you gasp in a breath to simply talk

feeling your body against mine

I wanted to protect you as I always have

But I wanted to shield you from every dark thing,

let you hide in my room under the covers and sleep.

Just as I had watched you this morning with your eyes closed,

the warmth of your breath spreading across the pillow 

spilling over my skin

knowing you had to leave in 23 minutes.

I just wanted to cradle you in my arms

and rest your head on my chest 

and carass you like I have always done

and watch the sunrise illuminate the darkend room

because it was 5 something in the morning

and I missed your smile

but seeing you at peace

was more calming

than feeling your body tremble

but feeling an empty bed

was more cold than sitting outside in the dead of winter

after you left and seeing the look in your eyes.

Wishing you could stay.

But don't worry love,

I can carry your burdens

I can hold your trembling body

I can kiss your tears away.

Falling inlove is easy,

but staying inlove is a choice

a decision

and if I wake beside you every morning 

what do you believe the answer is?