This is MINE.

This is all I have left of before.

I could never be four

I had learned much too much of myself and my body

That with this I possess too much power than my head was prepared for

This is mine.

This is what is left

This is release

With this I can get out

Like a caged bird

My wings are not broken

But my bones are still etched with the carvings you left there

My words are my bones and without them I'll crumble

This is mine

And I’ll hold it

So close that every missed heart beat I’ll feel with my heart

And when it reaches out

it won't be thrown over a shoulder

and dragged into the back room

All the secrets like bullets

I once heard a poet say

"It ain't the bullet that kills you

it's the open space it leaves behind."

a hole...hole..

Holy, Holy, Holy

My mother reaches her arms up to the skies

I remember when my arms once so innocently reached

Trying to find my voice but I can't even locate my mouth

forcing out a sound that will never be near enough

A young girl isn't built to take on the weight of a man

with the weight of the world on his shoulders

She takes parts of his with parts of her own into the shaky cold distances of new homes.

Expected to graft into a new family tree,

seeking a home she never had.

But this- this is still mine.

And sometimes when I'm feeling hopeful

I wanna tell the world my story.

I wanna hang my heart on my sleeve

and run through a crowd of broken hearted people

throwing it's pieces like confetti

but that's all before the shame of reality sets in

My voice is for every child, who,

before they even learned what their voices were built for,

were smothered out by the hand of a man that doesn't know how to be a man.

My voice is for every person who has ever tried to scream out

but could only feel the next breath they couldn't quite catch

my voice is for every woman with skeletons in the closet, demons at her back, scars on her body, nightmares behind closed eyes

My voice is for every person

 who isn't quite ready to use theirs.