What if I just stopped? What if I stopped doing everything for everyone and just worked on myself for while? Would I be happy? No. I wouldn't be happy because in the middle of working on myself, everybody would get caught up in their high expectations of me trying to fix them. I'll never truly get out of what this is. Never. There are too many negative relations in this world that keep me down. Maybe I can get up there for a little while, but no matter what people say, happiness in one individual comes from happiness of everybody else. One snap can kill it for me for months and leave me lying on the ground wondering what I did to make it that way. But of course I won't stop doing everything for everybody. That's what I do. I'm a people pleaser. I do something wrong once, and I want to lock myself away for the rest of my life because I have failed everybody. I'm living on an unbalanced lifetime that I can't call my own. Life isn't success without human interaction. Loneliness seems ok at the start, but once it hits hard, you're at the bottom of the chain and you're willing to do almost anything to let go. I love many people, and I will continue to love those people for my lifetime, but so many people have done me wrong, it's hard to let anybody else in. I am glad that I have what I have and I couldn't ask for anything more, except for acceptance for my entire life, because I am learning, and finding my way, I am becoming the human being I was meant to be. I'm trying to do it right and find the right path to take.


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