He was confused

It didn’t make sense to him

A perceived established reality

Conformity of confused sexuality

A deformity of needs

Where the mind, body and soul feed.

 

He didn’t understand how a feeling like this could be so wrong,

his feelings couldn’t be described with even the most perfect love song.

The touch of a man sent him into another world,

but how could he feel like this when this person is not a girl?

A very masculine man who was weakened by the touch of another male.

The love he felt deep down could never prevail.

Was this out of fear that this could be something real?

Or was it the fear that his parents and friends wouldn’t know how to deal?

 

Confused and broke from all the thoughts in his mind,

because just last week he described himself to be “straight as a line.”

The journey of confusion, denial and submission.

The path between birth and death where they were both in transition.

He was trying his best to be open and free,

but it was like reading a map with no compass key.

 

Acting like someone he wasn’t to fill the void in his heart,

Putting on a show for all to see like his sexuality was a work of art.

Because being gay is not accepted in a small town like this,

Even if it brought you nothing but happiness and pure bliss.

An athlete, a man-whore, who now knew nothing more,

than just a touch of love for a soul with a gender that matched his.