All my exisitance, I thought was living
A mask, I possibly believe, was placed upon me
I literally, watched and learned, from all points of view
Through the T.V. screen, I ate it all up
To the refrigerator, to fill an emptiness
Back to my bedroom door, I felt it calling
As I sit here, typing my own reflection, no mirrors
I see now, that I was clueless to that, then!
Becoming aware, of my own unawareness, real time 3:38 am, Sunday, October the 6th
Yet don't know exactly when I started this particular, poem
Which isn't a poem at all, (not too me, at least)
Just a plea for anyone, who isn't ONLY, using me
I don't mind the abuse, can't ya see
I just want, who my heart and mind deserves, requited in every way!
The unrequited fantasies in my head, of genuine polarity, are so real it's too scary
I'm just a person named Mary, who is masked no more
My empty shell, longs for the structure that, I can be!
Only for the one or one's , it's meant to be
leaving all cliches and words misunderstood
I'd die gladly, for one more moment, when I was high for the first time
On the illusion that i had, found the person of my dreams
Crushed before, I had a chance to even doubt it
So here I am masks off, when for so long it was my actual face, all I'm left with is to imitate who I used to be
food and sleeping, replaced with phantom weeping, has left me void of all pleasure
Still I'm no victim, cuz this is unmeasurable
My original mask back on, I'll fake a smile and sing a song
No dollars to my name, I willing gave my last...
Everything