Mary had a little lamb

Or so the story goes

Who wasn't very fond of grass

So, dined on vegetables

He liked his gravy over grits

With biscuits on the side

His toast made lightly buttered

And two eggs done sunny-side

Don't squeeze the juice, he told the goose

You know I like it best

Within the blender, set on three

And it will do the rest

The honey jar was never far

Where elbows bent with spoon

To siphon off a healthy dose

As biscuits met their doom

With belly full, the cows and bull

Were greeted, oh so warm

For butler and the maids, they were

Who tidied up the barn

And all the while, the lamb did smile

For knowing as he did

That every day began this way

Thank God, he was no pig

Pure fluffy white, his wool so bright

Oh, fairly did it shine

To look his way required shades

To keep from going blind

 

So out upon the lawn, he strolled

The clock approaching eight

Into his limo, he did slip

For he could not be late

Cause he was Mary's little lamb

As I have said before

He followed her to school, it's true

But drove up to the door

And out he popped, in Gucci socks

Of red, white, black and gold

His posse numbered twenty deep

To handle crowd control

Into the school, alert and cool

The lamb did make his way

Straight to the auditorium

Upon the lighted stage

With mic in hand, he took command

And got the students hyped

What wasn't told by Mother Goose is

Mary was his wife

No student, but his agent

That the lamb, we know, adored

She booked his acts, those are the facts

You've never heard before

For Mary Magdalene is the nun of whom I write

The sacrificial lamb, of course

Our savior, Jesus Christ

So, mind your ways and never say

That nursery rhymes are whack

As you can see, that some, like me

Do deal in ancient facts

And in your bibles, you will find

Some other slamming jams

Just like this one, that years begun

With Mary and her lamb