A Man Who Calls the Darkness Home

Alone he walks, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. By himself, he wanders through the dark, he’s lost, and so far, gone, he wonders if he’ll ever come back. He’s filled with pain and sorrow, he carries it with him in his broken, bleeding heart.  He longs for a feeling of happiness but he fears it too much to let in. As tough, ruthless and fearless as he is, his only fear is the pain he knows will come from allowing himself to feel for someone, just to get his heart spit on.  What love he has left in his heart is reserved for one woman, his Mama. His whole life he’s been no stranger to disappointment and pain. Being let down and broken promises aren’t even surprising to him, he expects it, so much that when he crosses paths with a good heart, he is suspicious, he doesn’t trust kindness, he runs from it. Happiness is a distant memory, so distant, it feels more like a vague dream he once had, the only proof of that happiness is the hole it made in his heart when he lost it. He welcomes the struggle, pain, and disappointment, it is what is familiar to him. He dreams of and hopes for success, but he accepted a long time ago that he was put here to suffer, struggle, and roam alone like a gypsy.  He’s here to help other’s break free from their struggle. He feels their pain, since he’s already accepted this life sentence of hell, he decides he can at least save as many other’s as he can, he will lead them out of the dark, he will lead hundreds to the light, but in the shadows he will remain. Alone in this darkness, filled with pain, and struggling is where he feels safe, it’s familiar, it’s what has always been, to be happy, and have the love that love other’s have is too risky. He’s used to this life he has now, the hole in his heart reminds him what he’s risking, that is a pain that is far to great for him to take that chance again. He’ll risk his freedom, even risk his life, but risk his heart, that just something he will never do, ever again.  So in this dark world he will remain alone, finding comfort in the pain and peace In the silence, saving as many lost souls as he can.

Comments

coolidris

That's a very sad poem you wrote about a man being depressed and wanting to be alone for the rest of his life.

poeticthoughts

I write about what I see around me. I wrote about my best friend, you're right he is depressed, somedays, and he does choose to be alone. His life isn't as sad as you think, he makes the best of it. He makes everyone around him laugh, and he led me out of my depression, I have tried to lead him he chooses not to follow, he finds contentment helping others. I guess in a sense that is his happiness. 

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