Every day I wake up

with the same expression.

Dead eyes with shattered glances

a sleepy voice and tangled hair.

I know the routine.

Walk across my room to shut off the alarm.

Open the door quietly.

I don’t want to wake my mom.

Get in the shower.

Wash my hair.

Wash my face.

Scrub every inch of my body until I feel

Awake.

Get out.

Dry off.

Stare at myself in the mirror and wish I had

Better abs,

different eyes,

whiter teeth.

I wish my face didn’t seem so

Angry.

Or sad…

I can’t tell which I see more.

Drink coffee.

Wait.

Wait.

Leave.

Wait at the bus stop.

Hop on the bus and…

Wait.

Wait.

Get to schol.

Wait.

Wait.

Class is starting so I make my way to my seat.

Talk to the same people every day.

Hear the same jokes

but from different mouths.

Stare at the clock.

Wait.

Wait.

Go to my next class and…

Wait.

Wait.

The bell rings and I leave the class.

I talk to my friends.

I talk to my girlfriend.

I laugh a little.

Maybe the mirror is not all that I am.

I go back to class.

Through waves of theorems

I wait.

Transfer classes again and

I wait.

Just until lunch.

one more goddamn hour

please let it go by faster.

I wait.

The bell rings once more and I got to lunch

I laugh with my friends.

I buy some food and

walk around downtown.

Maybe the mirror is not my life,

But it sure feels like it.

3 more hours of waiting.

I go to work.

My roles switch.

I am the teacher now.

I have to act excited when my taekwondo students

do something right.

A skill my teachers lack.

I don’t want my students to end up like me.

My students are still excited when they come to class.

My students don’t feel like it’s just more

waiting.

waiting.

I teach the classes and my roles switch once more.

I am now taking one more class before I go back home.

I wait.

I wait.

And I leave.

I get home at 8.

Every day.

And I do my homework until I eventually

Pass out.

In my dreams I am excited.

In my dreams

I don’t wait.

Because In my dreams

I realize

I am not the man in the mirror.