You ask me what is love? Listen to this. Here I am, shy, insecure, and do not trust anyone at all, and I do not have the capability to say “I love you” to anyone I care for. Listen with respect, understanding, and do not feel sorry for me. I shall tell you. Life is life, and things happen to the best of us. For a short moment, place yourself into my quaint, fearful, little heart, and hear me.

Most people are familiar with the concept of love, but very few have a true understanding of what love really is. Love is being taken away from your parents in the middle of the night to be brought to a relative or home that will temporarily care for you. It is protection. Love is having that one person who will always be there, a grandma or best friend. Love is powerful. It is the person, who hears the words “I Love You” when they cannot be spoken, and the person there to wipe away the tears. Love is simply the strongest four letter word on earth. It comes with time.

Love is patient. I have always been patient. We all must wait for good things to come. Be patient. The night I was taken away from my mother and father, I was still so young. I was told everything would be okay. All I had to do was remain calm and wait. God has a plan for all of us, and apparently he believed I was strong enough as a child to deal with this. I was blessed with an enormous amount of love and patience.

Love is hope. Each year I grow wiser and older, and hope. I hope that someday my family will understand and correct their mistakes. It is not that hard to understand. To understand that the children should be their main focus, not the alcohol or drugs. It has been 17 years. There are now a total of 10 children, soon to be 11, and we are still split among many homes. Drug and alcohol addictions are serious. It is a disease that every child hopes does not run in their family.  

Along with hope, love is fear. I constantly fear how my brothers and sisters living back with their father are being treated. Do they get feed? Are they kept warm? Do they get bathed? These are all questions I fear, and hope will be answered with love and consideration. The father is an alcoholic with an inconsiderate girlfriend. She does not like children; therefore, they are not receiving love from either one of the parental figures. My strongest fear is losing them to another family. I love my brothers and sisters, and hope each day that they are well cared for. 

Love is depressing. If I look back at my childhood, I cry. Not because of the many hardships I faced but, because I had one person to look up to. My grandmother loved me. It is sad to think that someone loved and cared more about me than my parents ever did. It is depressing that my parents loved drugs more than their first born child. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate my grandmother’s love more than anyone will ever know yet, it is still depressing.

Love is remembrance. I will always remember the day I experienced true love. It was early in the morning, and I was hiding in the closet from the yelling, the police, and the dogs. I was frightened. And the moment the nice lady told me I was going to live with my grandmother, I smiled. This was the first time I had felt true love.

Everyone can feel depression, patience, hope, and remembrance but, it takes a special person to feel love. It takes an amazing life experience. Love is very hard to find. Do not give up, it is out there somewhere. It may take a lifetime to find however, it is truly worth it. I have come out of my quaint heart to share my experience. There are people like me all around. Now go, I encourage you, attempt to discover love. Find the true meaning, it is somewhere on this planet. Be patient.