Dear Chocolate,

I’ll be married to you

For better or for worse.

And yes you make me fat,

But fat is part of what I am.

You are responsible for my beautiful curves.

And you’ve never broken my heart over the phone.

You’ve always been there for me,

When I needed a snack,

Or a pick-me-up.

Chocolate,

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine.

Oh, cocoa,

Why must you be so good to me,

And yet still go straight for my hips?

Chocolate,

I love you because you've never yelled,

And because you caress me constantly,

You leave behind stretch marks.

And I will always love you,

With or without your nuts.