I’ll be married to you
For better or for worse.
And yes you make me fat,
But fat is part of what I am.
You are responsible for my beautiful curves.
And you’ve never broken my heart over the phone.
You’ve always been there for me,
When I needed a snack,
Or a pick-me-up.
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine.
Why must you be so good to me,
And yet still go straight for my hips?
I love you because you've never yelled,
And because you caress me constantly,
You leave behind stretch marks.
And I will always love you,
With or without your nuts.