To Love and To Lose

Two years ago his flesh implanted onto my flesh; his blood was half mine & half his. Two years ago I was outcast by everyone except him & him. Their words & actions caused me to twist, turn, almost break & sure enough bend but in the back of my head I knew it would all pay off in the end. Halfway through this cycle I didn't want you yet halfway through this cycle I grew to love you. Planning a future for someone other than me hell yea that was scary but I wasn't going to trade it indeed!


The pain hit me unexpectedly! Legs were aching, stomach was twisting and my body shaking! Are you coming? Awe shit, this can't be! But then again I was 33 weeks. We're rushing, family fussing oh how I wish this pain would END like a discussion!


It seemed like a matter of seconds. And come to think of it, I was relieved for only a second! Hold up! Where is his cry!?! Oh lord, oh lord tell me...tell me why!?! Two years ago I found out what it really meant to love & to lose! Here for 8.5 months one minute & POW! Gone the next!

It's two years later & I have yet to get over that two year old pain! You were our first but you won't be our last! You were our son but now you’re His. Don't get beside yaself because I know you're having a blast; all I know is make sure you save a spot for me and your dad.  June 6th, 2011: To love and to lose to a thing called Heaven.


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