The Lost Mermaid

My feet sink into the sand like I’m suppressing my old hopes and dreams

I’m trying, don’t they get that?

Every little detail in my life is a learning experience

heartache, tears, happiness, laughter, anger

They push and shove

They take and they take

“Who are you?”

I don’t know

“Who do you want to be?”

Someone better than the person I was yesterday

“Why?”

Because I’m choking on old memories

I want nothing more than to stop living in the past

 

Tell me, why is the ocean my only escape?

Why I am so drawn to something so dark, menacing and powerful?

The answer is easy

I want to be that.

The ocean lives inside of me

I scream out depth while choking on seaweed

The feeling of my fingernails collecting sand and pieces of the beach haunt me in my sleep

The ocean is what I strive to be

and I am that

I am dark

I am menacing

And I am powerful

 

“Who are you?”

I am the waves

The waves crash into my lungs

Suddenly I’m drowning in my tomorrow, and I’m tasting my fears

I swallow them like I’m proud to acknowledge such insecurity

And I am

 

“Who do you want to be?”

I want to be the horizon line--far off into the distance;

the line where beauty meets catastrophe

My soul balances in between those two significant worlds

That is my light and that is my dark

That is me

 

“Why?”

Because the ocean was and will always be meant for me

The taste of salt water lingers on my lips as sea foam plays with my hair

I take line after line of ocean air, because sea is my favorite high

The crabs that pinch the tips of my toes

and crawl into my heart like to play with my sentiment

They know ocean is my favorite dwelling

I am home

 

They will not take this away from me

They will not push

They will not shove

They will not ever experience anything I feel,

or anything I see

Because I am the ocean

 

I am dark

I am menacing

I am powerful

 

I am tragedy

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741