Living in the past

You are a liar
You told me later but later never came
You left me with a pain that feels like a c-section which my only protection could be an anesthesia to stop me from feeling the pain for a while but cannot stop me from seeing it or erase the scars
Feels like I have no clue of what the present looks like feels like, because I'm still stuck in the past waiting for later

This heavy burden that you left me with wondering what if ¿ Wondering if your last breath was peaceful, dreadful or what if I stopped you from leaving ¿ What if I knew, what if I hmmm what if it was my fault ¡
You left me with a mental scar when you promised you'll never leave
You promised that you'll stop me from getting hurt when you're the one that hurting° me
You promised you'll watched over me
But you never told me it would be from heaven....

This pain just won't go away
It is a birthmark that I have to live and die with
A wound that can't be healed
A memory that can't be erased
A pass that can't be undone
"This pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase."

Down in your grave is where you'll lay
And in my heart is where you'll stay
You're physically gone but not mentally forgotten
Where you are, your body will be rotten
The wind will blow the ashes
Your body will disappear
But the memories will reappear..... memories of finding your body down on the floor with bottle pills by you and a letter in your hand that says " sister I'm sorry I I hate for leaving me with a pain of celebrating my birthday because I'm grieving your death
I hate you for leaving me in the past alone carrying this burden
What I hate the most is the fact that I love you
Yesterday has passed, today is forever endless,tomorrow might never come, because later still isn't here.

This poem is about: 
My family
Guide that inspired this poem: 
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 


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