Living or Just Alive?

The tears burn my face because of pain I can’t erase
I dream of an escape these four walls are gonna take me
burry me alive without memories to tell I wonder when I die will I be accepted into hell?
Psychologically I’m ruined
Emotionally I’m done
Mentally I’ve left this place but there’s nowhere to run
Im looking for an angel but I’m my own devil buried alive and holding the shovel
Everybody’s an enemy
Not even I am a friend to me
The emotions I conceive bleed onto my flesh
Sends chills down my spine and pains through my chest
Interrogates my soul until I shiver and confess
I am a virgin never felt happiness
Unwrapping my soul and poking holes in my pride
Until I become an unwanted human being who has eyes but is not seeing
Who can walk but has no path
Who has a jiggle but no ASSpirations
Because what’s inside has chosen my destination
I am being but am I being?
I am being but am I being?
Coming to my senses all I have is my reflection because what everybody looks for in me is perfection
I need protection from reality it causes brutality toward my inner self
While my outer screams for help
I get rid of myself by creating a shell
I’m all alone and my only company is misery
Trust is a fear
Love is so near
So I run away into a hole that swallows me and spits me out
Until I’m left with a shattered heart and burning eyes
Bitter thoughts that hypnotize me into being a creature who only cares about the things she can’t see
I feel it in the pit of my stomach
Ten years from now I’ll probably amount to nothing
I’m a slave to myself how can I fear someone else?


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