I’m breathing again
My fingers have graced the pages of this notebook again
The tip of my pen is finally hitting paper again
And as the ink drips, I’m writing again
I’m alive again.
My blood's stained with loves lost, found, and gone again but I’m revived again
A new story begins
And as I realize that love’s crush was just that I believe again
I have faith in my sins, because in the end I know that it’s all God’s will
And Just for a moment I forgot and impatience sent chills
Through my body and my mind; my soul couldn’t sit still
But now I’m back at the quill, with my scroll on the desk
I’m focusing on the present, forget about the rest
I can’t change my yesterday, and my tomorrow hasn’t come yet
I’m thinking about the object, that which I can touch
Because If I think about the otherwise, my body does too much
I’ve gotten to the point where enough is enough
And hiding doesn’t do anything but make life more rough
It’s that time to stay tough, although the battles already won
And it’s surprising my heart hasn’t frozen like a gun
Cold, cocked, and ready—two bullets in the chamber
Ready to blow anybody’s brains out if they cause me any danger
It’s getting hard to control the anger but I made a vow to myself that I wouldn’t linger
I’d just wait for the man that would place that ring on my finger
So that true love could set in and all my problems would scitter scatter out of my life and leave me with fresh life so pure and so true that I’d never have to worry about what others do
A me and you type of thing
Not just some fling
Something real with some meaning
But this ain’t a love story
This is about me
This is about how I realized the essence of being me
This is about how my mind didn’t draw back this time
My heart didn’t fall back this time
My soul didn’t collapse this time
My body was able to relax this time
So I’m letting the pen talk back this time
Because this time, my minds solid enough to just put it into a rhyme
Because I’m evolving
Inside and out
Instead of resolving the same problems I’d already calculated a thousand times
I just let it go
This time when you took your love from me I didn’t cry
Yes I was disappointed but I realized… You just talked good
Yes, I was impressed
But I’m no longer stressed
By the ritual that you so eagerly pressed
And instead of allowing myself the orgasm I’ve converted it into an ink spasm
I’m ready to rule the world with my numbers 2’s and loose leafs
Or at least the one I live in and call home ‘cause there have been too many false chiefs
Too many prince charmings and too many mother fairies
Too many spiritual deities and too many wise mother remedies
I’ve had enough of the games—I am tired of losing my sanity
It’s time to take back my own vanity in myself

My ink pen leaks.

So I’m breathing again
My fingers have graced the pages of this notebook again
The tip of my pen is finally hitting paper again
And as the ink drips, I’m writing again
I’m living again
So as the sequel begins I’m remembering my sins
Remembering that everybody loses but not everybody wins
Remembering my battles and remembering my friends
Remembering all my enemies and remembering why I’m here
Thanking God for his mercy and all of his blessings
I’m here today only because of him
My father is proud only because of him
And I was brought out only by the grace of him
So I’m thanking him
For giving me these fingers to write with
And giving me these words to fight with
I was lifeless
But thankfully he made me tenacious
And selfless so that I could see the me who I was becoming
So instead of curing my lonely, I hear my pen moaning
And I’m back to poetry
Because nothing else was home to me
Not sex, alcohol, or money

My ink pen is leaking
And again I’m breathing
My fingers are gracing the pages
And my pen is singing
The ink is dripping
And I am living.