One morning waking up you realize you feel different, 

you carry on with your day but nothing seems to phase you.

You seem to notice your a bit off. and carry on with your day.

You notice the colors arent as bright or vibraint as they were before.

As if the beauty of the world has become dull, meaningless.

Beginning to question the meaning of life. Going into the deeper places of your mind.

The noticable darker places you have never been.

These places consume your mind and you cant stop it is like your screaming for help

but no one around you can hear your desparate cries for help.

Looking for a way to fix.

You reach for a blade and slide it over your wrist as the seem of your body slits open

now your bleeding. 

And it feels right, You cut more and more and now your whole wrist is covered in these

"quick fixes" 

You begin to love the sight of your own blood running down your arm.

you crave it every night when your alone. 

DYING BECOMES A JOY.

death is now what your mind craves. what you begin to think is what you want.

you get the bottle of pills, you find a rope, you find a gun. 

no matter what it is you find, your determined to end your life

because of how much pain your in.

but you stop and think the last few moments before you...

take your last breath

pull the trigger

take the pills

you wonder if any one will notice your gone.

and you say fuck it and do it any way 

you believe your set free.

you take your last breath and do it.

now your gone...

cant go back...

will any one notice?

this runs through my mind every day, living with chronic depression kills the mind.

i believe love or death is what life is for.