Liar (My Testimony)

Hello everyone

My name is Ashley Many middle names Clement

I am 22 years old

And I am one among 10 brothers and sisters

I lived in a mansion in Cheltenham with my own spacious room and attic

Work? Never needed to because my dad was the supervisor of septa

And my mom owned her own insurance company

We were so rich that we have traveled all around the world

You name it, we've been there

I was pregnant at least a handful of times even though the dates never added up

And I had dozens of boyfriends

I had fought over a billion girls

And even got stabbed in the back and stomach in one of them

Although my life was turning for the worst I turned it all around

And received a full scholarship to college

Well at least this is what I told everyone

It all began when I was 8

And I was spit on by a girl in my neighborhood drill team

Because she said I was ugly and weird

And I didn't look like everyone else

I wasn't the class clown

But the one who the class clowned

I was bigger than the others

Not as pretty as the others

So for my own sanity I created a monster

Named Liar

Yes Liar because I thought maybe if they seen all that I had materialistically

They would forget how I looked physically

The sight of myself made me cringe

And it appeared as though everyone around me did also

From that moment on I forsook myself

And crawled into a new skin

And became the girl I always yearned to be

Or so I thought

At first it started off as something temporary

And then it escalated into something permanent

Lies parted my lips before the truth could

And I couldn't keep up with the fairytales I told

At first I gained all that I wanted

Friends, a boyfriend, money

But hadn't realized how it was killing me spiritually

I was in the front row of church

Praising God

Lying before God's people

Telling them how Holy I was

Pretending that my temple was pure

When it was desperately wicked

Fake shouting in the pews

To take the attention off God

And place all eyes on me

I had become a slave to the enemy

And my mind became reprobated

Day after day

My true self began to break thru the new skin that I put on

Before I knew it the real me revealed itself

And from that day forward

I began to loose all that I have gained around me

Because no one knew who I really was

And truth be told neither did I

Everything caught up to me

Visions of suicide began to flash before me

And being a thief became my new occupation

Then promiscuity hit the surface and

It became my new high

Even though I heard God calling me by name

I still chose my fleshly desires over him

I went from bed to bed

Drink to drink

Blunt to blunt

Deteriorating my insides

All because of low self esteem

Then I finally had enough

I took 23 ibuprofen pills

And a bottle of 80 proof alcohol

And decided to end my life

As I lay on the floor

Tears rolling down my face; dying

I uttered to the Lord

"Why did you create me this way? I am not worthy, I am a disgrace!"

Then the Lord said to me

"Ashley I did not shed my blood for a mistake."

I shouted

"God if you bring me out I promise to serve you for the rest of my life!"

He then said

" My blood was shed for the remission of sins. I will forgive you 70 x 7! It is finished!"

Right then all my pain was gone

He washed me over again!

The old girl named Liar died

And the new Ashley was born again

The moral of it all is

You are created with purpose

Hand crafted by the almighty

No matter what man may say you are somebody!

You are not created to fit in

You are created to be set apart

To be peculiar

You may not look like your off the magazine

But to God your beautiful

Drugs are temporary

Lies are temporary

Sex is temporary

But God is eternal

My story may not be your story

And my struggle may not be your struggle

But if God could heal and set me free

He can do the same for you, you, and you

Many are called but few are chosen he says

And your struggle that your are facing is not for you he says

The struggle was given to you so everyone around you who does not believe in Jesus can see his miracles

You are fearfully and wonderfully made

You are a rose evolving from concrete not dirt

Your path is different

Your calling is unique

Don't wait on a complement from man

Crave love from the source

So now let me reintroduce myself

My name is Ashley Clement

I am everything God says I am

I am not a liar

I am not past

I was birthed with purpose

I am Poetikally His

This poem is about: 
Me

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