Letters I Never Sent
Dear Farah,
Who’s the best?
Sally
Who’s the best?
Sally
That's the song you created years ago.
Over a decade ago.
We were in the attic,
Freezing in the winter and burning up in the summer.
We never seemed to mind, though;
We would have too much fun to care.
Those days are only distant memories now.
678 days ago was the tragic day.
Even as time passes, the memory is so vivid.
I didn't go to school that day.
Not because of what happened in that early morning
Before the sun was up.
Instead I was sick.
Maybe my body knew what happened before the rest of me.
I had just woken up.
My grandmother had taken my phone while I was sleeping.
“I just wanted to take a look at that."
Or so she said.
You were all over the news,
“Teen killed in car accident”
I bet you never thought that’s how it would end.
I really wonder what was going on in your head.
I just want to understand.
Why not leave us with anything to understand?
You left us with nothing.
I was left with one thing:
A cacophony of emotions
One that always remains stuck in my throat,
Suffocating the words I wanted to say.
Suffocated since I saw the casket.
This is my chance to finally say them to you.
With love,
M
Dear God,
Turn this pen into a telegram.
Each stroke sending a message to the one I miss.
With love,
M
Farah,
Without you, my life is a darkness.
As I enter my future, everything is dark.
The path was light.
You lit it.
Now, I am going through things you never had the chance to.
I’m left in the dark.
I started to do things in your name.
For Farah.
That did bring some light into my life.
It also broke me more.
When I have failures,
I fail you.
And I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I would do anything to go back to the attic.
You and I could’ve faced the world.
Now I’m left scared.
This isn’t what you would have wanted.
You would’ve turned the cacophony into a symphony.
Your friends left your music where that tree met the car.
I know you are playing it now.
The saxophone on earth is cold,
But wherever you are,
You are playing and it is so
warm.
With love,
M
Dear Farah,
As I write this to you,
I am going to turn my cacophony into a symphony.
Starting with one song.
Who’s the best?
Farah
Who’s the best?
Farah.
With love,
Mariah
The one lighting the path after you.