At first winter blossomed into spring
Spring blazed into summer
And summer dimmed into fall
And by autumn, she was the fault of every misfortune.
It all commenced with the yelling, and the occasional nudge
She became the person you loved the most in public
But the person you loathed the most in private
She went from baby and wife
To slut and cunt
She became worthless, undeserving
Stupid and useless, a bitch.
A liar. A waste of your time.
Soon enough she believed it.
Her healing bruises,
In the shape of your fist, covered her pregnant body-
I always asked her why you did this to her
Because he loves me, she would say
I watched you slip into your own shadow
Disappearing into the hall, time after time.
I tried to follow, but her nails would pinch my skin.
Later, as you would drive us to church,
I would sit, cradling my head in my hands
And she sat, thanking God for salvation
But who will save her from the man on her left,
Who will save her from YOU?
She spent her night, icing her bruised right hip,
And all you uttered was
Because I love you
But what you don’t see is that if her bruises were a color
And she could paint all four walls with it
Some days they'd look like flowers
Blooming underneath the wretched winter skies
After the storm has stopped
Giving time to breathe
Other days, they'd paint water
Spilling on the floor
And with arms her arms outstretched, staring at the ceiling
Soaking up the mess,
She'd make a snow angel
Then, there would be days where all there was
Is a blank canvas
For all she could do is stand so still, back pressed so hard against the wall
And all that could be heard is the noise your fist make
As they collided with her ribs
You mistook her body as a punching bag
Pretending the bruises disappear after you say sorry
You acted like you were doing her a favor by loving her
And now she would have to repay you with her body.
All she was searching for was your nonexistent love
And maybe I was just searching to save my mother.
But you, the man who plants his fist into her like funeral flowers-
What are you searching for?