Letter to Grandmother

Dear Grandmother,

The last time I remember seeing you happy,

was when I was too young.

One hand a shopping cart,

the other hand reaching towards us,

welcoming our arrival.

But years later when you were too sick,

you sight was replaced

with the sight of tubes and moaning.

I was too young,

and it disturbed me.

Your voice, warm and coarse,

that laughed when I tried

to speak to you in butchered Taiwanese

lost to failing vocal chords.

I wish you could speak to me

tell me stories

and laugh again when I make jokes.

But I would never again hear your voice.

It was too late

life doesn't give us extra time.

A plane takes me over the sea to you

we finally meet again

face to face

I didn't know what to say to you

you seemed a little teary

but couldn't say a word

I dumbly smile

and said we were there to see her

Spent weeks there

every day I watched

your caretaker take food and waste

for you

your hand often reaches

to the tubes on your nose

you look so painful

but we stop you from unplugging yourself

we slept at our cousins

partially because we felt Grandfather's home was old

but it still felt guilty.

When I heard you left the world

Mom was standing in front of us

drying tears

I was dry

it felt guilty.

I wondered if we were not close enough

I wondered if I was horrible

I wondered if I to some degree

felt relief

that you were no longer

tortured by sickness

unable to move nor speak.

I do not know.

I do wish you are in paradise.

Sincerely, Granddaughter

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
Guide that inspired this poem: 

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