"Letter to an Abusive Boyfriend"
Maybe there's a time bomb in your mouth,
In your fists too.
Maybe you want to stop,
Hurting Me
But you don't.
Because you have a timer and it's going off like a forest fire that's spreading to deep and too fast, it's beyond all help
Hell, maybe you like to burn
Maybe, you like the feeling of my ashes falling through your fingers
As though it comforts you to feel my pain in your hands
I.
Will.
Never.
Heal.
I am scarred.
I can't escape, you have me in this mental cage and you've swallowed the key
Maybe you like how I break, like thin ice
The sounds of my crystal tears hitting the yellow-stained tile floors of the kitchen as you watch me sob from the purple-black bruises that scatter my body.
You make no sense; and things that don't make sense scare me.
Things that don't make sense are like wild animals.
You confuse me with your random mood,
Swings.
I need a new normal, because for me to get used to your slaps and punches like it's a everyday routine isn't right
So I hope that you're reading this letter so you know that
I
Have
Woken
Up.
I've been in a deep sleep for 2 and a half years, my dreams filled with denial, my body jerking away from any human touch, to scared to cry out for help
So don't try to find to find me. I'm finished, done with your abuse
A-B-U-S-E
Yes, I did just spell it out for you because your "knowledge" of love needs a spell check.
And you need a wake up call.
So yes, maybe there's a timer in your mouth and in your fists too, but turns out I have a timer too, and it's run out
And now my legs won't stop running away from that ugly apartment,
Now my legs won't stop running towards to nearest police station, to safety.
Dare I say I taste salvation.
A-B-U-S-E, free
I can finally breathe.
Sincerely,
Your ex