All the violence that I saw
I don't want you to see
There are no words that can say
the pain that they caused.
I want to hold you close,
But I want to turn you away,
To shield you from the violence
Reflected in my eyes.
Kick, hit, shove, pull my hair,
Pinch, squeeze, take away my air.
I cannot breathe
When you do this to me,
It's not fair.
Knock me down to the ground
With your careless idiocy.
You see? No you don't. But I do,
What this is doing to me.
My hearth aches, but if you see
You might hurt it again.
So I build up some walls,
And don't let you in.
And someone found their way through,
I didn't show them how,
But suddenly he was there,
Holding my hand.
And laughing, not at me,
But with me for the first time.
Seeing my tears,
But not caring about them.
And I found that I could dance,
Even as I cried,
And I found that I could cry,
Even as I laughed.
Now the pain is coming back,
I don't know, will it ever leave?
This mountain is descending on me,
Over my head.
I want to punch, spit, yell, scream, kick and fight back,
Do all the things you did to me
But never let me act
Out on any other body
On any other soul
On anybody else at all, I'll never be whole-
Some, Never have light in
My eyes - come back, breath to me-
Give back what you stole from me.
I want you close to me, tight,
I want you to hold me.
But this barbed wire that is choking me,
I don't want you to see, or feel,
Or bleed, like me - just breathe.