I’m suffering alone

Crying myself asleep to the lullaby of painful silence

Mascara running down my cheeks as I hide behind closed doors and around corners

Listening to memories stuck on replay

They say “tell me if you need anything”

I would tell you if you really meant it

I want someone to hug,

A shoulder to cry on

I don't want someone to tell me everything's ok, because it isn’t

I want someone to understand the way my heart has collapsed in on itself

The way my lungs no longer want to re inflate

The way my head aches with the memories

The way my limbs don't want to continue any further.

I’m suffering alone

Because they don’t want to get too close, they don’t want to get hurt.

My hands shake

While my nails keep chipping from all the tapping .

Too scared to wake up in the morning and find out that all of this is real

That it isn’t just some horrible, awful nightmare

I want you back

I can’t function without you.

I reach out for the ghost of you for comfort,

Even though I know you won't be there.