killing myself?

I been trying so hard to be like everyone else
(Maybe im just killing myself)
Tryna live a life where I don't care about death but umm
(Maybe I'm just killing myself)
And I sit alone thinking how can I be better to than the rest
(Maybe I'm just killing myself

I say a prayer every day every night
Sometimes Every hour
Even in the shower
Tryna figure out what it is everyone wants to. Do with me
Thinking why no body ever want stay true to me

Maybe its cuz i…
kinda maybe actually love myself
Emotions run high can't control myself
Remind me of the day I was controlled by belts

Its kinda like in a slave
My minds a cave
So am I its slave
But actions say more then what I get paid

All these constant pains
Stuck in chains
Still getting beat and hung by these Whips and chains
Church fam say I just need to go back home to the one who reigns

Guide that inspired this poem: 
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 



This poem was inspired by the loss of a friend... and since his departure I've really just been trying to find myself. That has been a long journey, I feel as if I'm killing myself by not taking steps forward. This was my way of saying "I can become my own person and step forward and grow rather than killing myself."

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