When you look at yourself what do you see?
Because some might say themselves but that’s not what I feel in me.
And when I try to find what others see in me
I cringe knowing that it’s something I may never be
I’m living in this world always trying to please
The ones who are either looking at me in high praise
Or utterly fatigue.
And because of this I question myself like it’s my highness
Trying to figure out how I will ever get to my highest
And to doubt myself the pain is excruciating
Because the answers I’m looking for I’m anticipating
And though I’m living this fleshy life
I’m on a time limit trying to get my spirituality right
Because at the end of the day there’s nothing else that matters
But what god sees in me
So I’m climbing those ladders
To the highest for as long as it takes me
Watching the devil chase me
Because he knows once I’m up there he can never break me
And as I watch him chase me through his fleshly forms
I keep on climbing because the decision I’m making is about to be completely out of the norm
And for those who are watching
Please don’t judge me
But instead take my hand and be chased with me
To be honest,
I find this more like a game
It’s like I’m playing tag with the devil
One minute he’s in full speed after me
And the next I’m defeating him with the bible
It’s a catastrophe
But everything I’m going through feels like a blast to me
Someone please tell me is this how it has to be
Living in this reality
Because if it is,
Throw me some boxing gloves because it’s about to be round three
And through this fight
When all is said and done
The devil will still chase
But I’m not tripping because I’m running at a slower pace
Now I can see the end I’m about to win this race
Because the devil can’t keep up
Give it a second
He’s about to give up
And before I knew it
There lies that finish line
I’m so thankful that it all finally happened in the perfect time
And yet,
With no regrets
I push forward instead of turning around to face the Satan who
Like most would do
Doubted me the entire time
Because God had me all the time
I just needed that push
That Christianity push
The push that was going to get me father then what the world allowed me to do
The limitations I was at are now unlimited
And those restrictions… there no longer
I feel like I’m living a free life
A Christian life
And every step was worth it
Because through every step I made it
Farther into the plans that the father had for me
And I will never go back
And if I slip up the father will guide me back
And when I do slip the devil will be waiting
But I’m in no hurry
Because he’s just gonna have to keep chasing