I never said that I could forget.
Forgive maybe.
How would you deal with your innocence being ripped from your soul?
How would you deal with the feeling that nothing is permanent?
Just waiting for things to come, inevitably, crashing down on you?
Just forget, you say, forget the years of trauma.
The senseless abuse you've endured.
Put it in the past and be happy.
Why?
Would the nightmares and flashbacks stop?
No more pain when that song comes on the radio?
No more paranoia when you say the same lines I have heard time and again?
Just no more bad stuff right?
Can anyone help me put into words so you can fully understand, that this doesn't go away, ever?
That I will always remember, and therein lays the problem with your theory.
That I will always be scared of history repeating its self, because, it is now seared into my mind like a brand upon my soul that no matter how many times I am told something will or wont happen, I am let down by either of the opposite.
This is all I know.
The tension you can cut with a knife.
The memories that come up in the weirdest of times.
That feeling that lurking in the shadows is something to stop everything from being ok.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I'm sorry but I am not insane.
Just logical.