It's more than the feeling you get when the roller coaster is reaching the falling point; the rush that you get in your heart, throat, lungs, and stomach. It's more than the warmth you feel on a fall evening, bundled up by a fire. There's that calming and relaxed moment, yet your heart is racing a million miles an hour. You try controling your breathing. But, it's more than feelings or words could describe. It's more than you will ever know. It's the feeling that I get when I hear from you again. It's bitter in my mouth, but becomes sweet to your tongue. It's something I cannot control. But, it is more than that. It is the hold you have over me that I wish did not exist. It is this hurt you can still feel in your bones as if they were made of glass and all shattered simultaneously. It is more than the sadness that I feel when you leave again... It is more than you can understand, because if you did, you wouldn't have called. But in all it is more than that. It is the courage I have to finally stand up and say no to you.