I must say it is hard to choose 

There are so many things I was forced to loose

Mistakes that have been taken by 

 my family, my friends and I

But in this one moment

like a halmark moment

My mother sleeps 

and does not weep

She is the light in my world

And because of her

my shadow can shine

She is the sun and I'm the moon shinning because of her light 

All she shows is within her,

gleaming bright

So what I want to change is something to benefit her.

I want to go back to two months after my birth

Perhaps as my father held me,  I could have done something 

Show him hope after his lost

Show him that what he does next is a big cost

Tell him that drugs and drinks 

are not the thing 

that can save him agony

I want him to realize 

that in my baby eyes 

that all his happiness;

in my heart is where it lies

I want him to watch me grow up

and not be a figure I hope will show up

Although I know what he did was wrong

I can not help but hope for a sweet song

to hear his voice

is my choice

I wish to change those moments when he laid his hand on my mother

I wish it was convert and what he did was smother

smother her with gifts, hugs and love

and did not kick or shove. 

Maybe now, if I could change that 

I would not have to fear 

What I hear 

My mother would not have to crawl through hell

or I would not dig through that wishing well 

to earn the money we need,

so she can sleep in peace 

with out a worry finacially. 

Although she is brave 

I know if I could have changed 

that moment when he relapsed

I do not have to fear her collapse

when everything goes awry. 

That is what I want to change, 

Alright?