introverted thoughts

what good is it to be an attention seeking introvert

to want people to notice you

and be reffered to as some sort of deity

but then want to be alone

and sink into the background

because the spotlight burns bones before it benefits

 

what good is it to be a lonely introvert

to feel constantly omitted

and want to be invited

then wish to be home

alone in my room

because thats how i feel all day anyway

 

what good is it to be an opinionated introvert

to want to be part of a conversation

and hand over your mind to the ones around you

but having just talked 5 minutes ago

feel mentally and physically drained

to the point of wanting to leave behind your life

and never come back to a familiar face

and even though the thoughts swimming in my mind

could cause a tsunami the size of a country

i keep quiet and to myself

because my opinion finds its journey to open air

one far too extreme for my mental state at that moment

 

what good is it to be an anxious introvert

to feel as if life is leaving you behind

and the days are leaving faster than they are coming

to want to turn back time

because you've intentionally not talked to your friends in weeks

and maybe they dont remeber why they used to like you anyway

but you remember why you like them

and you do want to talk to them

but talking takes too much effort today

because you talked to people yesterday

 

what good is it to be a neglected introvert

to feel people wanting to leave you out of plans

and to not want you to come places with them

because all you do is follow them around

so much your name should be shadow

and dont speak a word most of the night

due to conversations not being meant for only one person

but two is too much to bare

and you just want to stand and follow

because listening satisfies you more than talking

 

what good is it to be a friendly introvert

to want to meet new people

and imbrace different personalities at one time

but then want them all to go away

in effect to them being so loud in your head

you can hardly hear yourself wishing you were home

because with new friends come new conversations

and with new conversations come more talking

and with more talking comes more drainage

and you've run dry a long time ago

 

what good is it to be a conceited introvert

to think youre above the rest

and more worthy than those in your vacinity

wanting to be the center of everyones attention

as a result of no one else deserving it

but then wanting everyone to advert their eyes

and to look the opposing direction

because they are blinding you in effect of looking at you

 

what good is it to be a paradox,to crave attention

but then want to hide,to feel neglected

then want to be left alone

to want friends

then consider them a never ending burden

to feel above the rest

then wish to be nothing but another number

to wish to be an extrovert

but realise it can never be

This poem is about: 
Me

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