The insanity of me

Location

chicago
5324 south sawyer
United States
41° 47' 46.878" N, 87° 42' 18.738" W
My hands have never known love 
But my eyes have known tears

The happiness has been withdawn from my veins for , i dont know how many years with a syringe and Ive just watched the tubes fill up.



If youre not living a life you're just exsisting
But everyday children go missing.  
Not an amber alert but a loss of the mind. The transition to insanity 
Where nothing and  no one is kind.



But whats insane is the amount if people aged like me ,depressed.

The amount of people who haven't made it to live my age.
You know whats insane?
That people walk this earth to Hate



Every morning people wake up

and get dressed.

Prepare themselves 

for excellence and for tragedy.



Good intentions get misinterpreted
Like a malady 
Thats why my heart has a hazard sign over it and anyone who walks into my life has a caution sign placed over theirs.



It doesnt help that people are insecure .
That girls my age have set a standard of beauty.  



It doesnt help that guys have raised the standard of beauty.

 They've made girls the beast.

Where is one to find love when all anyone see's in the mirror is flaws. 

   Where am I supposed to look?

There's no compass in life 

Yeah theres paths
But how do you know where to?
When youre lost.

Youre lost.

I want my hand to be held with love 

And my eyes to gleam with happiness. 





I want the happiness to be injected in me.
To want fear extracted 
Because as the matter of fact I really do try. Everyone tries.  And everyone wants the best for themselves in the end.
Everyone wants to be loved
No one wants to be depressed.
Children deserve to be children



Now  Isn't that insane,  well my life is.

its going to the doctor and being scared, taking four pills a day to try and control it. Its thinking that people can see that something is wrong with you . it isnt something that you choose, my life got hard and for a while it was hard to see any good.

its having trouble in school, people think their day is hard. Its insane how much of a struggle it is. 

it's locking yourself in a room to the point where your parnets know to stop knocking because they wont get an answer. it's always being monitored by something with a job, degree or career.

A horrible feeling of being injected with a dye as stare at a white ceiling.  Getting put into a machine that shows no love, but tell you when to breathe. Im tring i really am to finally be okay with myself. The insanity of this disease wont let me.

The insanity of me.

 

 

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