Hey sweet thang. Are you from ten I see? Because you're the only Tennissee!
Believe it or not, I was going to e-mail this pickup line to you this morning.
But I just couldn't.
What if you think I'm too straight forward?
What if you don't laugh at the joke?
Maybe I'm the joke.
If only you had an uglier face, maybe I could actually muster up the courage to talk to you...
The thought of you kept me up last night.
Today was the day I was suppose to talk to you.
I had it all planned out- a firm handshake, a warm smile, maybe a pick-up line.
I figured I'd radiate stupidity as soon as I opened my mouth.
Therefor- I'm just sitting from a distance, and watching you talk to other people.
...Not in a creepy stalker way though.
I mean- unless you like that kind of stuff.
Oh god- no wonder you haven't purposefully made eye contact with me. I probably scare you.
Anyways, I feel as if when I finally talk to you, I'll act jittery and too odd to be bothered.
Truly, I am as what some may call a "cool cucumber".
Maybe you're just waiting for me to talk to you!
I mean- if anything you should be intimidated by me.
You know what? You'd be lucky to have me!
Not to brag or anything, but I am president for the "We love Richard Simmons" club.
Let us not forget, it is I who earned a black belt in karate.
Patience young grasshopper, with time comes me building up confidence to speak to you.
I mean- I do have a life to live, Time is short, I just can't waste my precious moments on shy boys!