Hey sweet thang. Are you from ten I see? Because you're the only Tennissee!

Believe it or not, I was going to e-mail this pickup line to you this morning. 

But I just couldn't. 

What if you think I'm too straight forward?

What if you don't laugh at the joke?

Maybe I'm the joke.

If only you had an uglier face, maybe I could actually muster up the courage to talk to you...

The thought of you kept me up last night.

Today was the day I was suppose to talk to you.

I had it all planned out- a firm handshake, a warm smile, maybe a pick-up line.

I figured I'd radiate stupidity as soon as I opened my mouth.

Therefor- I'm just sitting from a distance, and watching you talk to other people.

...Not in a creepy stalker way though.

I mean- unless you like that kind of stuff.

Oh god- no wonder you haven't purposefully made eye contact with me. I probably scare you. 

Anyways, I feel as if when I finally talk to you, I'll act jittery and too odd to be bothered.

Truly, I am as what some may call a "cool cucumber".

Maybe you're just waiting for me to talk to you!

I mean- if anything you should be intimidated by me.

You know what? You'd be lucky to have me!

Not to brag or anything, but I am president for the "We love Richard Simmons" club. 

Let us not forget, it is I who earned a black belt in karate.

Patience young grasshopper, with time comes me building up confidence to speak to you. 

Don't worry.

I mean- I do have a life to live, Time is short, I just can't waste my precious moments on shy boys!