We all start off pure: a baby, knowing nothing about the world around us.
We are very sheltered at this time, thinking no one could do us harm.
Some, sooner than others, realize this is not true.
Whether being affected directly, or watching someone else go through pain,
We realize as we grow,
The world is not just a happy place.
The world does not always do us justice, it is not always good.
Imagine learning this when you are in your prime of growing.
I am three years old.
Someone who is never supposed to do you wrong.
Someone who is supposed to be there for you.
Love you endlessly, protect you, be a role model.
They betray every last one of those things, by your third year of living.
Doing things parents should not do to you.
Hurting you, making you do things you don’t know, don’t want to do.
Making you cry out continuously.
You’re helpless at three, you don’t know what is going on; you don’t know if it should be stopped.
Thoughts of a three year old are not too in depth.
At the time, you don’t ask yourself, “What can I do to stop this?”
You don’t wonder, “Does this happen to anyone else?”
You don’t ask, “Why does this keep happening to me?”
You just keep going along with it.
You decipher over the years what happened to you.
You cry, you’re disappointed, your trust is gone for them.
You don’t know what to say, how to handle it, you keep it inside.
You just know that you lost someone who was supposed to care for you.
You don’t know where you’re supposed to make that up.
It begins to hide in the back of your mind every day; you carry it like luggage.
Year 16 of life, you tell some trusted people; it helps with coping.
They comfort you and apologize and tell you they’re here for you.
But this, this only goes so far and only helps you so much.
You feel regret.
You feel those people looking at you differently, treating you as if you were helpless again.
They make you feel less independent, like you need to be constantly watched.
Thinking to yourself, you say “I am no different to you than I was before.”
All that happened was they got to know you on a deeper level.
Why does everything change now?
Was telling someone the wrong thing to do?
You fall into a pit of despair.
You carry this feeling too now; two bags of luggage.
One for the feelings of what happened, one for the feelings of speaking out.
Emotions are constantly all over the place and you feel violated of trust.
Until you meet someone, they know, and they don’t treat you like you are helpless.
Maybe this is where you begin to make that loss of a person up.
They become your special someone.
This person builds you up, stays up with you, is your rock,
Constantly works with you, loves you, and supports you.
They may not understand your situation, but they understand you are no different than before.
If anything, you’re stronger.
You still carry your luggage with you, you will forever, but it feels lighter now.
You feel as if you can finally make progress.
You are going on a plane with your luggage.
Travelling to a safe haven.
All thanks to, the impact of that special someone.