I'm Sorry

I'm sorry that I'm so sensitive.
I'm sorry that I feel whole when you speak.
I'm sorry that I'm relentless.
I'm sorry for being weak.

You're losing patience.
You claim you're not affected, but you fake it.
I feel deflated,
Yet I'm flooded with guilt. I hate it.

I have no skin.
Some emotions feel like I'm losing a limb.
I get nervous.
What if you get sick of my hurting?

I know it's hard
To love me when I play two parts.
I never thought one could love me in this manner,
But you don't know if you'll get The Hulk or Bruce Banner.

The small child who clings to your sleeve,
Her world would dissipate if you were to leave.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You hate it when I say I'm sorry.

My pain and rage must frustrate you.
I keep the monster in the cage to not hurt you.
When I do, when I lash out for nothing,
This horror flows out like lava or something.

There's two different people.
I want to protect you from my evil.
How can I do that
When the evil is me, attached?

I can't hinder it forever.
I have a feeling, because of this, we won't be together.
Just saying that makes me scared.
My lungs, my blood need your air.

I know I put you on some sort of pedestal,
But when I see you, I see my guardian angel.
Maybe I'm not a whole person.
Maybe all my tactics are not working.

One word stings so bad; I get sad,
Covered in tears and a panic attack.
You provided what my life lacked:
Comfort and protection. I need that.

You're pulling away.
I predicted this would happen from the first day.
I'm sorry, okay?
Just don't leave me for heaven's sake.

You use to coo, "Shh. It's okay."
Now when I cry, you go to bed anyway.
Is it wrong for me to say
That you don't love me in the same way?

I know I'm a mess, but I'm trying.
I love you. Strike me down if I'm lying.
I need the medicine you're supplying,
But even love can't fix me. I feel myself dying.

This poem is about: 
Me

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