I'm the only one who says I can't.
There are some things about me that I can't change
There are things about me that are just too strange
I've got thoughts in my head I hate giving acknowledgement
I've got voices that spit on my every accomplishment
I've got secrets, and shyness; I get obsessive-compulsive
I wear verbal armor and spit words so destructive
To protect myself when I feel all my insecurities
And when I feel wrong my rituals make me feel safer so please
Don't laugh at me, don't attack me
I did things to myself that you wouldn't believe
I'm recovered now; I don't do that anymore
But I still think about settling my stupid score
On myself. With blood. I am not my enemy,
Or at least I shouldn't be
And so far I can stop myself, keep my insides inside
But I always wonder how much longer I can keep that restraint alive
I have words that I'm tossing around in places like this one
Using them for good and not hate is an important intersection
A crossroads, where I can make a choice of creativity
To avoid self-injury
And now I read back over all of these rhymes and lines
And I smile because if there is one thing I can do, it's write
So maybe I got the first words of this poem wrong
Change is possible, I can look at myself and see that I do belong
Here: I can say that I'm worth it when I see me in the mirror
And instead of hiding, wipe away the steam to see myself clearer
I can look at my flaws and say they're all right
I can look at the good things and say I'm worth the fight.