I'm the only one who says I can't.

Fri, 07/12/2013 - 22:12 -- DaXue

 

There are some things about me that I can't change

There are things about me that are just too strange

I've got thoughts in my head I hate giving acknowledgement

I've got voices that spit on my every accomplishment

I've got secrets, and shyness; I get obsessive-compulsive

I wear verbal armor and spit words so destructive

To protect myself when I feel all my insecurities

And when I feel wrong my rituals make me feel safer so please

Don't laugh at me, don't attack me

I did things to myself that you wouldn't believe

I'm recovered now; I don't do that anymore

But I still think about settling my stupid score

On myself. With blood. I am not my enemy,

Or at least I shouldn't be

And so far I can stop myself, keep my insides inside

But I always wonder how much longer I can keep that restraint alive

I have words that I'm tossing around in places like this one

Using them for good and not hate is an important intersection

A crossroads, where I can make a choice of creativity

To avoid self-injury

And now I read back over all of these rhymes and lines

And I smile because if there is one thing I can do, it's write

So maybe I got the first words of this poem wrong

Change is possible, I can look at myself and see that I do belong

Here: I can say that I'm worth it when I see me in the mirror

And instead of hiding, wipe away the steam to see myself clearer

I can look at my flaws and say they're all right

I can look at the good things and say I'm worth the fight.

Comments

crystalfairy07

You just wrote everything that I feel myself! I wish I write so fluidly as you. Keep up the good work!!! I love the imagery :)

DaXue

Thank you! It means a lot to me that other people have 1) read this and 2) got something from it. As for the writing, well, you'd be surprised at how fluid writing can get when you start so close to 1 in the morning. :D

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