Ever sense that day, all anyone can say is

"How are you doing?"

I respond with the simple and basic answer

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, Thanks

These two words are the thin veil that protects me from them...

That protects them from me, because I've always viewed my emotions as something that makes me weak

So I tell them

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine

To shelter them from the dark reality that hides behind these two words

To shelter them from seeing the dark depression that I'm slowly drowning in,

But I tell you

I'm fine, I'm fine... I'm fine

As my body is riddled with anxiety about all the task still undone on my to do list

Yet more is added to the list 

I find myself unable to complete a single one

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine

While I wake up every morning and weigh myself,

I watch that number slowly drop, but in the mirror all I can see is fat

You say "wow you look great"

Never knowing the pain I've gone through to look like this

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine

As I'm full of self-doubt about all my mistakes I've made and continully make

All you see is me laugh with you about how I used the wrong form of due when sending that email

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine

While I lay awake at night because insomnia has me in her tight grasp and refuses to let go

All you see is me yawn,

And say that I could use a nap.

You jokingly call me lazy, 

Not knowing that I haven't slept in the past three days

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine

That's not what you were asking about though

You wanted to know how I felt about her

I'm fine...

And this isn't fake,

Because even though her being gone hurts so much

That hurt is justified

For losing the person you love most in the world does hurt

I'm fine

But you only now started to care about how I

"Really Feel"

I have been broken for years,

But you don't need to start worrying now.

I simply tell you what you want to hear,

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine

~EH