If you bury my heart



If you bury my heart tonight,

let it not be in a chest of stone,

for with all you love and all your might,

it will smooth to be the river's own.

If you bury my heart tonight,

let it not me in a chest of gold,

for all the money in the world brings spite,

but never someone to hold.

If your bury my heart tonight,

let it not be in a chest of  glass,

for as transparent  be as we might,

such love will never last,

So if you bury my heart tonight,

bury me withtin yourself,

because with all the the world's troubles and wars despite,

could ever tear our loves first light,

and live on weilding two hearts on one shelf,

we will keep each other I swear,

You will always be mine I swear.



Impressive rhythm and extremly sweet! i love love poems but felt like the rhythm was off on line 16 and 17. didn't fit with the rest. the rhyme scheme is found in a lot of shakespeare's work a-b-a-b c-d-c-d e-f-e-f g-g and your piece was doing that well but then got twisted on line 16 and 17 since you wanted to say something more you couldnt fit into the rhyme sceme? there is no right or wrong in poetry and you did amazing so were you trying to follow his rhyme pattern or was this free write by any chance? 


My entire idea was to speak my mind. I usually write in this style but I couldn't find another way to convey what I was trying say. A lot of my other poems are well put together, but this one seemed to unravel; like trying to talk to a first crush and you words jumble a bit.


These are usually the best pieces but no piece is really done. As the months go by if you continue to read and write you will get better and maybe come back to this piece and continue to work on it. It is always interesting to go back and fix up old works.

On another note i loved the piece thank you for posting it on the site!

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