If I Go On My Own Again

I keep seeing the mega-buses

and the ads where kids come home from college

just for a weekend and/or holidays

and my friends sending things back and forth

with their beloveds back home

and I find myself longing for that

which is idiotic in a way

since when I had that I was miserable

but I really don’t like being settle-down-ish

when everyone else I adore and admire

have the lives I wanted to have

before my situation took its turn for the worst

 

I feel like I’m getting past the point

where I feel like Columbia spoiled college

and I’m moving on to the point

when I’ll be able to embark again

because I’m feeling more and more so

that it isn’t in my purpose to stay here

even though I was drawn back

so in such a forceful bout of longing

the problem is that now

I haven’t the slightest

what and where life is trying to propel me towards

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