i want to write a poem, the kind that tells a story, the kind that shares a history

the kind that makes me want to aplaude me, or the world reward me.

i want to write a poem that will make the world feel whats inside of me, 

the pain the hurt and the misery. the love that the universe has failed to give me.

the kind that makes my ex miss me, need me or even check up on me, i want to write 

a poem, a poem that makes me feel like a poet, the kind that rhymes loke a sonnet, 

the kind that surpasses shakesperian poetry, or maybe the kind that doesn't have to express

how sad i am, how dead i feel or unwanted i am.

but it hurts, that everytime i lift my pen to ink my thoughts, i fill the page with my 

tears instead, that everytime i think of a word, it has pain engraved all over it instead,

so i let my silence speak for me, and as days pass by the unspoken words in my head keep killing me

honestly if you spent a day in my head you would have by now noticed that i have a rope around my neck

a timer on my left, tears in my eyes whispers in my head telling me to lock the door and just get over with it.

i want to write a poem, the kind that hides the pain showcases the love, the kind husands would recite to their wives. 

the kind that saves souls from suicidal thoughts, a poem that kids can read at school, a poem that motivates

people to be motivating, the kind that puts a smile on your face, the kind that wipes away your pain

and brightens your day..

but if i fail, know that i have tried, im just not that poet.